10 Tips for Flying with Kids

A friend of mine recently asked for my advice re. flying with his two small children.  Yelena & I have flown with Nathan quite a few times, either alone or together, on different airlines, to different places around the world.  Here are our top 10 tips on making it an easy flight:

(1) Many airports have a separate line for families with young children. Rock it.  (SFO does; SAN does not.)

(2) Some airlines won't even do pre-boarding unless you ask them. So talk to them when you get to the gate.  United does this, for example.  Southwest does family boarding between A group and B group, which strikes me as a terrible decision, but there it is.  You can get around this by paying for "Main Cabin Select" (see below).

(3) You can check stroller and carseat for free, even on airlines that charge for baggage.  Most mid-level stroller and carseat manufacturers sell specially made bags for the purpose; I recommend getting one.  You've seen your $50 suitcase get mauled; imagine if it happened to your $300 carseat or your $600 stroller.  A $30 bag is worth it, in my opinion.

Even if you take your stroller to the gate, you can gate-check it for free, and it'll be available at the gate at the other end.  Still worth it to get a bag, in my opinion.

(4) If the kid is over two, he needs his own seat.  I recommend bringing the carseat on the plane. The flight attendant will give you a "belt extender" which should make it easier to install the carseat.  Depending on how long the kid's legs are, he might be able to kick the seat in front of him if he's in the carseat. You might want to sit in front of him, rather than make a stranger suffer for 5 hours.  My son is unusually tall so we've stopped using the carseat on the plane because it's gotten to the point where he's no longer comfortable.

(5) You're supposed to be allowed to bring breastmilk, formula and water through security for a baby, but we've been hassled before. And we always get checked for bombs.  One time a TSA agent in San Diego told us we couldn't bring water for our two year old because he was too tall.  That's utter nonsense, of course, but I wasn't about to argue.

The good news: you can ask the flight attendant to hand you a free bottle of water as soon as you walk on the plane.  And, of course, there are places that sell it next to the gate.

(6) Maybe this goes without saying, but bring enough baby supplies for overnight. Flights get canceled, especially out of SFO. Diapers, formula, wipes, hand sanitizer, change of clothes.

(7) Have a bottle filled, warm, and ready during takeoff and landing. The baby is most likely to cry during those times and a bottle will probably solve the problem. (Whether you're going up or down, the motion of her jaw will help equalize the pressure on her eardrums.)

(8) Bring lots of activities. My favorites are crayons with paper, pipe cleaners, and multiple story books. If you get desperate (but only if), your phone is the best kid distraction. A company called Zoodles has released an amazing free app called Kid Mode. It has a huge selection of videos and games that are age-appropriate to your child. Each child gets their own "accounts."  You can even record family members (ie. Grandma) reading them their favorite stories, or leaving video "messages" that the child can play.  And on Android phones, it locks the "home" and "exit" buttons so the kid can't get out of Kid Mode.

But I recommend only using this when you're desperate. If you lead with the electronic gadget, at some point the kid will get sick of it, and then you're really screwed. But if you save it for the end, it'll probably tide you over until you get to your destination (even if you're delayed).  You can load movies on your smart devices too, but again, I'd save that for when you really need it.

(9) If you're flying by yourself, consider "Main Cabin Select."  Most airlines offer something like this now.  It's not business class; you're in the "main" cabin with all the other sardines, but you get to sit at the bulkhead (which gives you more foot room), you get to board first, there's a bottle of water waiting at your seat, you get food, and you can check bags for free.  It's only an extra $25 and can be great for your sanity.

(10) At some point one of your kids will cry and you won't be able to stop them. Sometimes kids just get cranky. Nathan went through a phase where he had to cry in order to fall asleep and there was nothing we could do about it. You will get dirty looks from non-parents; they don't understand. Just accept it.

Bonus tip: Some airlines allow for a more pleasant flying experience.  On Southwest, the other passengers get to pick their own seats, which means they can sit farther away from your screaming baby if they want.  On Virgin America, the kid gets his own TV and a whole set of buttons he can press.  They always have at least a couple kid's channels (including Disney), but my kid just likes to press the buttons.