I'm Nervous Too

Today is Nathan's first day with the nanny.  She told me this morning that the first day with a new family always makes her nervous.  I didn't tell her that I'm nervous too.

I've started working for a non-profit organization and although I haven't made any money yet, hopefully I will start to in the next few months.  It will also help me build my web portfolio and will hopefully lead to paid legal work as well.  In addition, I've had several people express interest in hiring me for professional web design.  Again, even though I haven't seen a check yet, this looks promising.

The problem, of course, is that being a stay at home parent is a full time job.  Add in housework, and I'm left with almost no time for professional work.  And when Yelena comes home in the evening after working a 14 hour day, it's not fair to ask her to pick up the slack.

So we've joined a nanny share.  The other family is a very nice young professional couple just a few years older than us.  Both parents work at UCSF so their schedules are just as erratic as ours; it's a perfect match!  Also their son is just a couple months younger than Nathan.  The nanny is Janet.  Yelena and I liked her immediately.  Today she is spending the day just with Nathan so she can get to know him and his routine.  I'm working from home, partially so I'm around to help out and answer questions, but mostly out of my own sense of nervousness.

Don't get me wrong, Janet seems wonderful.  But I have never trusted the well being of my son to a stranger for more than a few hours.  I try not to be a paranoid dad and I think I generally do a good job, but transitioning from stay-at-home dad to working dad is something I've never done before.  Knowing that I have primary responsibility for my own child felt great.  Hiring someone else to do it for me feels . . . uncomfortable.  Like a new pair of shoes that hasn't been broken in yet.

I'm sure things will work out fine, and I am grateful for the chance to sit down and get some work done.  Especially since I'm supposed to roll out a brand new website by tomorrow.  Yikes!

All right, I'd better get to work.  Now that I can.

J<