Canadian Pride

I was born in Edmonton, Alberta, and moved to the US when I was 7 years old. I hold joint US-Canadian citizenship.

Credit goes to my mother, an American citizen with an MA in English, who cooked up this phrase of "Canada-speak" while living in Canada.

"I see by your schedule that you haven't been going out the foyer again in your running shoes, pardon me lieutenant?"
"No, the queue to the kiosk was too long and I forgot my tuque."
"Well, why didn't you put a chesterfield on the broadloom at all, eh?"

How it sounds:

"I see by your shedule that you haven't been going oot the foyay agayn in your running shoes, pardon me leftenant?"
"No, the queue to the kiosk was too long and I forgot my touk."
"Well, why didn't you put a chesterfield on the broadloom atall, eh?"

What it means:

"I see by your schedule that you haven't been going out the entrance again in your sneakers, huh lieutenant?"
"No, the line to the ticket boot was too long and I forgot my knitted wool cap."
"Well why didn't you put a couch on the rug, huh?"

OK, it doesn't make any sense, but it's fun to say with a Canadian accent.