Nathan is one year old.
For Hanukah, I sent some relatives a Nathan calendar. The theme was easy; each month has a picture of how old he was in that month. But the result is more than a cute collection of baby photos (although it certainly is that). The result is a series of images that quietly shows Nathan's progression from premie to almost-toddler. As a parent I've learned to appreciate all the cliches, like "children grow up so fast." A phrase is usually a cliche because it's true. In this case, the cliche is that a baby is a miracle. In our case, that resonates not only because of Nathan's health problems before and during birth; the bigger miracle is the development of the child himself.
January
I took this photo the night he came home. I have never driven as slowly or carefully as I did the first time I had my child in the car. I was so nervous about whether I had installed the car seat right, I went to the nearest fire station and got a fireman to inspect the car seat for me. (They do that, FYI.) I remember the very first time I heard a baby's cry echoing through the apartment. My life had changed in a profound way that I was only beginning to grasp, and I was overwhelmed. Nathan was an underweight little thing that could barely see or cry, and didn't do much except eat and sleep. In this photo he is completely passive, as he was that entire month.
February
February was much the same; Nathan ate and grew, but was largely unaware of the world around him. He didn't recognize people (except possibly me & Yelena) and didn't know where he was. But his extended family and friends had already begun to shower love on him, symbolized by this stuffed animal, which was purchased by his grandfather-in-law.
March
In his third month in this world, Nathan had begun to look around. He began to stare at things intently, observing and analyzing. He knew where he was and loved traveling outside. In this photo, he's in his baby carrier, ready to go somewhere exciting.
April
Nathan began to laugh. If you're a parent, no explanation is necessary. If you're not, not explanation is possible.
May
This was his first visit to a Civil War living history event. He was still very observant and analytical and wasn't overwhelmed by anything. He had also begun to teethe.
June
Nathan learned to roll over and hold his head up. It would be a while before he would start to crawl, but that didn't stop him from trying.
July
Nathan's first visit to the beach. Not only was he unafraid of the elements, but he recognized and enjoyed the rhythmic pattern of the waves. He also began to discover his own legs and hands, and began to understand how he fit into the world as an unique being.
August
Nathan was becoming more active. He still couldn't crawl, but he was able to move around and became much more emotive. In this picture he is expressing happiness and enjoyment at another visit to the beach.
September
Nathan's face began to fill out and he began to grow hair, looking more and more like his father. He began to interact with other people in a meaningful way, and not just as a reaction to external stimuli.
October
Nathan discovered his own shadow. At this point he was crawling around and could even interact at the playground with other children his own age.
November
Nathan usually gets several books read to him every day. He has favorites, including Dr. Seuss' ABC's and Pat the Bunny (he can do almost all the activities). Sometimes he'll bring his favorite book over to me to read. He's also exploring more; here he took an adult book off the shelf (I think it's Mary Shelley's Frankenstein).
December
Nathan is learning to play musical instruments. He knows that when he interacts with a toy, his actions will achieve predictable results. He initiates games like catch or hide-and-go-seek. He is cruising and is getting ready to walk, although he doesn't like to walk while holding onto a parent's hands. He'd rather learn to do it all by himself. He is already expressing his independence, but he also understands "no" and usually obeys. He can achieve goals that require several steps, like finding a ball so he can play catch with Daddy. Soon he will exit babyhood and become a toddler. He is no longer a passive creature, but a real person with his own personality, preferences, and agenda.
It is a miracle, and it's breathtaking to watch. But more than that, it's exciting as hell.
Happy birthday, son.
J<
