Just give me beer, a hot dog, a lawn chair, and an air horn, and I'm all set.

Norwegians try to pull a car out of the ocean

Yes, it's a PowerPoint file. No, it doesn't have any viruses. I give it the Koppie stamp of approval (and it was scanned by Norton).  Credit to Sam Belkin for this one.
J

I was doing research for my paper that's due next week. No, really, I was. Fast forward five minutes. "Hey, they have personality tests!"

Here's how to do it:

Start with Linux. I recommend Kubuntu Feisty Fawn.

Never mind I fixed it! For the rest of you, here's how to do it:

sudo apt-get install kttsd festival

Download the Festvox female voice here: http://www.speech.cs.cmu.edu/cmu_arctic/packed/cmu_us_slt_arctic-0.95-release.zip

I've finally upgraded my guestbook. The problem with the old one was that I had no spam protection. I had to turn on approval, which meant every single guestbook entry had to be approved by me before it would show up in the book. But the only entries I ever got were spam; it got to the point where I was getting a hundred spams a month. I couldn't keep up with them so my approval queue got clogged up to the point where I couldn't even load the control panel any more.

So, my guestbook languished away, effectively dead. Until now.

This morning I was riding to work and a fight broke out between two passengers. One was an older man who clearly had mental issues. The other was a young, well-dressed woman obviously on her way to work downtown. Guess whose fault it was?