Dude Has A Point

So, apparently people are in a tizzy over Rick Santorum's comments about women in the workforce.  I think he has a point.  Hear me out.

First the disclaimer: I don't think "Rick Santorum is right."  And in any case it doesn't matter; dude is not getting the Republican nomination.  He's another right-wing blowhard with a quickly setting sun.  "Oh, but he's totally gaining steam."  Puh-lease.  He's Flavor of the Week.  Hopefully all this new press will help his book sales, because that's all it's really about at this point.  Now, here's why I think Santorum is right.

I grew up in Santa Cruz, which is probably the most liberal place in the country.  I remember seeing bra burnings downtown, which in retrospect is really odd because it was the 1990's.  I think there is such a thing as an "ultra-feminist" who takes it to far.  Let me explain.

In my mind, the basic tenet of feminism is that a women should be empowered to make her own choices.  But at some point this "empowerment" took on a life of its own, and now there are "expectations" of women the same as there are with men.  In fact, I'm not sure the modern woman is any better off; instead of just taking care of the house and kids, the modern woman has to take care of the house, kids, and a job.  Before feminism, women were expected to hold a certain role in society.  Since feminism, women are expected to hold a different role in society.  How is that empowerment?  Isn't it just a new set of shackles?

If true feminism means a women gets to make her own choices, what about the woman who wants to be a stay-at-home mom?  Why is that not an acceptable, honorable choice?  Why must women gussy it up with terms like "domestic engineer?"  I can tell you from personal experience that having a child is the absolute most important thing that will ever happen to you.  So if a woman chooses to make that most important thing her most important thing, why is that something to be frowned upon?

At the same time, feminism has something to do with equality.  If it's okay for a woman to be a stay-at-home parent, then shouldn't it be okay for a man to be a stay-at-home parent too?  Of course it should.  I was a stay-at-home parent for ten months and it was one of the greatest things I've ever done.  Eventually I decided to go back to work because I am a liberated individual and I have the right to make that choice.  But I will never be ashamed of the time I spent as a home maker.

I know several girls of my generation who have decided to be stay-at-home mothers (and one father, too).  I respect these people tremendously.  They don't get paid for what they do, but their value--both to their own families, and to society at large--is tremendous.  They are all strong, intelligent people and I admire them.  I'll admit I'm also slightly jealous.  

Yelena has told me multiple times that she wishes I earned enough for her to quit her job and be a stay-at-home mother.  I hope one day I do, because I know it would be a dream come true for her.  She has a medical doctorate and brings home a six figure salary, but she'd gladly give it up to spend every day with our wonderful child.  If that isn't feminism, I don't know what is.